Dean Robert Watson

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Dean Robert Watson

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The Kiwi Startup Employee Survival Guide 2025

Kiwi birds flying on rockets together

Written by Dean Watson, Adam Walmsley, Sierra Truong, Natalie Walmsley

Last updated: 17th September 2024

This is a working survival guide I update regularly, as the New Zealand startup scene continues to evolve. 🌱 If you have a question not covered in this guide or a suggestion for something that would help startup employees and should be included here, I’d love to hear from you! Please email me at deanrobertwatson@gmail.com

Join the Startup Employees Association of New Zealand!

“If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together.”
— African proverb

WELCOME TO THE KIWI STARTUP EMPLOYEE SURVIVAL GUIDE! 🥳

I’ve worked in Kiwi startups for 10 years as an employee and one of the most common things I find myself saying is, “How did I not know about this?!” This survival guide exists to put everything useful in the one place, to give you the best opportunity to live a successful, full life as a startup employee working in New Zealand. 🇳🇿

There are around 2500 startups in New Zealand. [1] If each startup has 2 co-founders, that gives us a total of 5000 founders. Now, guess how many people are employed by startups in New Zealand? I couldn’t find any exact figures on this, so let’s back-of-the-napkin this. 

Conservatively, if each of these startups employs 2 people, that makes 10,000 startup employees. The real number of startup employees in New Zealand is likely to be significantly higher.

Being a founder is incredibly difficult, but so is being an above-average startup employee for an above-average length of time. Today, you can find lots of supporting resources for people that started startups, but almost nothing on how to be a great employee in a startup. This guide exists to make it easier to take ownership of a career in startups, so you can be the best version of yourself and stand alongside founders to grow businesses that change the world. 🗺️

This survival guide will teach you:

To get all the benefits from this survival guide, including many you probably didn’t even realise you needed, I’d recommend reading from start to finish. However, feel free to skip to the content that would help you the most right now.

Let’s go!

Act 1: Stayin’ Alive

Your wellbeing as a startup employee

Working in a startup means you have decided to be a part of a team that is trying to do something that has never been done before. These high-growth rocketships frequently operate in survival mode, demanding high performance and resilience from employees. To thrive in such a high-pressure, topsy-turvy environment, it’s essential that you prioritise self-care above and beyond the typical member of the workforce. 

To stand any chance of sustained success—career, personal or otherwise—your wellbeing is a must-have. Taking care of yourself is a private act, but as a critical member of a team on a mission like this, it’s much bigger than you.

What’s the point in summiting Everest only to run out of oxygen on the way back down?

Don’t wait for those around you to start prioritising self-care. Lead by example.

The first thing you need to do to understand how to take care of yourself while working in a startup is to accept that your capacity to work will be different to those around you. 

Everyone is built with a different engine. Some of us have the engine of a Ferrari 🏎️, while some of us have the engine of a 1994 Toyota Corolla 🚙. Please know that all are necessary to do the impossible. The Ferraris extend us, while the ’94 Toyota Corollas make sure we get there in one piece.

Paying attention to how you feel under different workloads is the key. Try them all on for size! This helps you figure out your limits. Once you know your limits, you can communicate them to others. 🗣️

If you want someone to respect and value what you have to offer, you first must respect and value yourself. 

Know your engine. Know your limits.

Helpful habits

If you haven’t read James Clear’s Atomic Habits, go and grab a copy right now. It’s compulsory reading for every startup employee. For changing behaviour, I also recommend the old school, but timeless wisdom of Tony Robbins’ Awaken The Giant Within.

Habits make you who you are (your identity), so it’s worth putting some serious thought into which ones you’d like to build. What sort of startup employee do you want to be? Which habits would that person have?

A few years ago I made a decision to give myself the best chance of being the best version of myself at work. To create this vision of myself, I built the habits I thought a high-performing startup employee needed. Promotions and interesting opportunities have come more easily since I did this.

These are the primary habits that help me look after myself while working in startups.

  • 🛏️ Get 8 hours of sleep per night
    • Bedtime routines are more important than morning routines, so create one for yourself. Mine currently looks like this: close laptop, close blinds, brush teeth, meditate, learn Vietnamese with my partner, read a few pages of a book, lights out.
    • Go to bed and get up at roughly the same time every day
    • Read: Thrive by Arianna Huffington
  • 🏃 Get 30 minutes of moderate exercise per day
    • Try joining a sports team or running club eg. Park run, which is a free 5km organised fun run at 8am all over NZ
    • If running isn’t your thing, explore YouTube to find a whole range of free guided workouts, stretches and yoga videos you can do from home. Just pick ones that work for you and the time you have available.
    • You can also try paid things like yoga classes, gym memberships, pilates memberships etc. I go to three yoga classes per week and walk pretty briskly when I’m going places, so I find that gives me what I need in this area.
  • 📖 Read 30 minutes per day
    • Libraries are everywhere and they’re your best friend here. If you have a Spotify subscription, you have access to a huge range of free audiobooks.
    • If you travel by car or commute a lot, then Audible can be quite good too
    • What you read matters a lot less than the fact you actually read. The point is to read. Fiction or nonfiction, it’s all good.
  • 🧘 Meditate for 5 minutes per day
    • There are many ways to do this, so try a few approaches to see what works for you. For me, I just sit on a chair in the dark in the bathroom, set a 5min timer using Enso, the most low-key app ever, and focus on my breathing. Doing this each day before bed over a number of years has given me all the benefits of meditation, without needing to shave my head.
    • Headspace or the Calm app are great places to start too. Adam: “I use the Headspace app a lot. It really helped me when I first learned to meditate. My mind was so hectic that I couldn’t do it without guidance to begin. After a while I learned good breathing techniques to help me manage stress and anxiety.”
  • 🎩 Dress in a way that makes you feel good every day
    • This is an excellent way to send a message to yourself that you love and respect yourself, and that you are worthy of looking and feeling good every day.
    • I shouldn’t have to say this, but I have a rule now that if I see a sock with a hole in it, I now throw it out immediately, instead of trying to squeeze another couple of days out of it. Notice when things you wear don’t make you feel good. Then do something about it.
    • On weekends I dress for comfort, rather than style. That also makes me feel good.
  • 🫂 Spend time with family and friends outside of a work context
    • Sometimes I’ll notice myself caring too much about things at work that don’t actually matter. This usually happens when I haven’t been spending enough time with family and non-work friends. Often, time with these special people helps keep us grounded. They remind us of who we are outside of our all-consuming work. Your work is what you do, it’s not who you are.
  • 🍫 Eat 1 piece of chocolate per day
    • If a food you regularly eat makes you feel less than ideal, take note. Try experimenting with removing that food from your diet and see if you notice a difference in terms of how you feel. If you believe you’re worthy of always feeling this good (see self-worth), then consider becoming the type of person who feels good about what they eat.
    • If, like me, you’re prone to eating lots of sweet things all at once, this habit can be a game changer. Apart from special occasions where all bets are off, I’ve been pretty good at sticking to 1 piece of chocolate per day. Not only do I feel better, my moods are less up and down, plus I’m spending less money.
    • Examples of healthier snacks I like: bananas, nuts, water, other fruit. Experiment with different things from the supermarket until you find what works for you. Don’t worry about being perfect, just get started and have fun!
    • Drinking lots of water also curbs the need to relentlessly snack during the work day. You might think you’re hungry, but often you’ll just be dehydrated. I avoid this issue by keeping a water bottle next to my computer and sipping away all day long like a camel.

The last habit on the list above has been the biggest challenge for me personally and is a relatively recent change compared to the others. I found that ‘trying to snack in a more healthy way’ wasn’t working, so what ended up doing the trick was deciding exactly how much of my favourite treat (chocolate) I was going to eat each day. 

Another way to think of this area is ‘you are what you eat’, because what we consume affects us massively. If you have something sugary during the day, watch how it negatively affects your patience with the people around you and your mental fortitude to do hard things for the next couple of hours. Once you start noticing this, you can never unsee it. 🙈

I still have lousy days and am not perfect with these habits, but consistently returning to them gives me the best chance of success.

Adam: “Personally, the change in what I’ve been eating over the past year has completely changed me. I have been sugar and artificial sweetener free + a few other things free for almost 10 months. It’s had the biggest positive impact on all other areas of my life: sleep, exercise, mental state and energy.”

Not doing the little things to take care of yourself compounds against you. If you opt out of taking care of your wellbeing, like I did for many years, your career in startups will get harder over time. 📉

For a deeper dive on habits, check out this article I wrote for The Listener: The force of small habits: Why you should forget the grand New Year’s resolutions (Apologies in advance for the paywall. Just go and borrow Atomic Habits from the library instead.)

Also, The Diary of a CEO podcast has many good episodes on health, wellness, fitness, food and sleep.

Your financial wellbeing

Choosing to work in a startup often means you’ve taken a pay cut (especially if you’ve come from corporate). It also means you’ve chosen to work a job that could disappear in the not too distant future. Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s a little different for everyone, but I think the most common reasons for joining a startup are:

  1. The adventure 🏴‍☠️
  2. The chance of a bigger pay off later on 💸

On the topic of the chance of a bigger pay off later on, if the startup you work for has an Employee Share Option Plan (ESOP), this is very good news. I know people in New Zealand whose lives have been changed by ESOP. Put it this way, opting out might end up costing you between a few tens of thousands of dollars to a couple of million. I’m not exaggerating. The New Zealand startup scene is relatively young with very few newsworthy exits, so most people don’t realise that this can be the way startup employees get rich. (see the section in this survival guide on ESOP)

While you may have taken a pay cut to work in a startup initially, if it grows, in a couple of years, you will quickly find yourself in a situation where you have more money than you know what to do with. This is another reason why it’s so important to be prepared to be a good custodian of the money that flows into your life.

On the topic of adventures, when you go on an adventure, you go on it knowing that things won’t go to plan. You might be made redundant, you might not end up liking where you work or other life stuff just happens.

The best thing to do to avoid finding yourself in a position where you’re out of a job and in desperate need to money to make ends meet is to do these two things when the going is good:

  1. Avoid debt you cannot service if you were unemployed for 3-6 months
    1. Caveat: if you must buy a house, be very careful about how much you borrow. I’ve noticed this being the undoing of many promising startup careers. When times are good, people buy houses, then something happens and they lose their job and have to serve a big fat mortgage. Next thing, they’re working a corporate job. Not all corporate jobs are bad, just like not all debt is bad. But just know that it can be extremely challenging to maintain a career in startups when servicing a mortgage you can’t afford.
  2. Keep a well-stocked emergency fund at all times
    1. On your internet banking, open a new account and call it ‘Emergency fund’. Put $2000 in there immediately, wherever you can get it from. The amount of money you have in your emergency account will depend on your expenses and risk tolerance.
    2. If you lose your job (which happens all the time in startups, no matter how good you are), how many months of not working would your emergency fund buy you? If your expenses are $1000 a week, then a $2000 emergency account would buy you two weeks. How many months’ buffer would you like the next time you’re looking for a job? For the first 8 years of my career in startups, I kept a 3 month buffer, but just recently my partner and I have decided to increase this to 6 months. Your number doesn’t need to be the same as mine, it just needs to be right for you.
    3. A well-stocked emergency account that buys you lots of time before you have to find your next job is a beautiful gift to give your future self. It gives you the job search you deserve. Besides, nobody hires the desperate. My partner and I always make it our #1 financial priority to keep this topped up.

To be able to have a great career working in startups means you need to be good with money. If you’re starting from scratch with your financial knowledge, that’s okay!

The most helpful personal finance resources:
The Barefoot Investor by Scott Pape
The Simple Path To Wealth by JL Collins
The Happy Saver Podcast by Ruth Henderson (a kiwi podcast)
Money Series by Yours Truly

Act 2: Finding a job you actually love

How to decide what startup to work for

Yes, you actually get to decide this! To have not put any thought into this is like going on a date having put no thought into what you’re looking for in a partner. It’s unattractive! 🤮

These are the first two questions to focus on, which most people skip over:

  1. Who am I / Who do I want to be now?
  2. What do I want? / What am I interested in?

To work out who you want to be now, it helps to get an accurate snapshot of who you actually are right now. 📷 Ask 10 people who know you best: “If you had to narrow it down to three things, what am I good at/what are my strengths or attributes? When have you seen me being my best self?” 

Then, take their answers and summarise the themes. 

Being able to communicate who you are, along with who you want to be will make it easier for the people hiring to know what value you can bring to their company. ✔️

To work out what you want, try asking yourself these questions:

  1. What would I do for work with the skills I have if I didn’t need the money?
  2. In what sort of job or industry would someone with my strengths have an unfair advantage?
  3. What was I interested in between the ages of 5 and 12?
    1. Often, what we liked to spend our time doing during these innocent years contains clues on what we were born to do.

It can take some time to work out who you are and what you want, so be patient with yourself as this emerges during your job search.

Once you have a decent idea of what you want, it’s then about syncing this up with what startups have to offer. ☯️

Categories of startups

Here’s a comprehensive list of 28 categories in the Kiwi startup ecosystem:

Startup CategoryDescription
AgriTech (Agricultural Technology)Startups focused on innovations in agriculture
AI (Artificial Intelligence)Startups that focus on developing intelligent machines and software
BioTech (Biotechnology)Startups that use biological processes for industrial and other purposes
CleanTech (Clean Technology)Startups focused on renewable energy and environmental sustainability
ConstructionStartups that focus on innovations in the construction industry
CultureTechStartups that use technology to enhance, preserve, and democratise cultural experiences, including the arts, heritage, and entertainment
CybersecurityStartups that focus on protecting digital information and networks
DeepTechStartups that work on breakthrough technologies with potential for significant impact
EcommerceStartups that focus on online retail and sales
EdTech (Education Technology)Startups focused on improving education through technology
EnviroTech (Environmental Technology)Startups focused on solutions for environmental sustainability
FinTech (Financial Technology)Startups that use technology to improve financial services
FoodTechStartups that innovate in the food industry
GivTech (Giving/Donations Technology)Startups that develop digital platforms and tools to facilitate charitable giving, manage donations, and engage donors more effectively
GovTech (Government Technology)Startups that develop technology solutions to improve Government operations, enhance public services, and increase civic engagement.
HealthTech (Health Technology), also known as MedTech (Medical Technology)Startups focused on improving healthcare through technology
HospitalityTechStartups that focus on technology for the hospitality industry
InsurTechStartups that use technology to disrupt the insurance industry
LegalTechStartups that use technology to simplify legal processes
LogisticsTechStartups that focus on improving logistics and supply chain management
MarTech (Marketing Technology)Startups focused on optimising marketing efforts, including data analysis, customer engagement, and digital advertising.
MobilityTech or AutoTechStartups focused on transportation and mobility solutions
PropTech (Property Technology)Startups focused on technology for real estate buying, selling, and management
ReligiousTech (or FaithTech)Startups that leverage technology to enhance religious experiences, community engagement, and administrative processes for religious organizations
RetailTechStartups that focus on technology for the retail industry
SaaS (Software as a Service)Startups that provide software services through a subscription model
SportsTechStartups that use technology to enhance sports performance and engagement
Wellness TechStartups that focus on improving mental, physical, emotional or spiritual wellbeing

If anything from that list makes you a little bit excited 🤩 or your heart swells a little, make a note of that. It’s likely you’d be an excellent candidate for a startup job in that industry. For any categories you’re unsure about, Google them and read an article or two before counting them out entirely.

Types of jobs in startups

A good way to find out what job titles exist at startups is to Google ‘startup job titles’ and read a bunch of the highest ranking search results.

You can also go to the websites of some Kiwi startups and look at their ‘team’ pages. Often everyone on the team will be listed, along with their job titles. 

Finally, try hopping onto Seek and searching for the term ‘startup’, setting the location to ‘New Zealand’. Start reading some real job advertisements for the job titles you’re interested in.

Sometimes it can seem like the only jobs startups are hiring for are developer roles, but that’s because of two reasons. One, there is a shortage of developers and two, the non-technical roles often get filled on the hidden job market (which we’ll talk about in a moment). 

In my first startup job, I was hired as a comedy writer, which turned into a social media manager role, which turned into a community manager role, which turned into a project manager role, which turned into an implementation manager role, with a little bit of leadership thrown in for good measure. None of those 6 roles I just mentioned are technical roles.

There are so many jobs in startups that don’t require you to be a computer genius. Check out the article 5 Non-Technical Jobs That Every Tech Startup Needs. In terms of the non-technical jobs listed in that article, I would also be so bold as to add Project Manager and Community Manager to the list. Oh, and a little thing called Leadership too.

Great startups need great technical AND non-technical talent. 🤜 🤛

Knowing who you are and what you want will set you apart, whichever group you fall into.

How to get a job you actually love in a Kiwi startup

Here are the basic high-level steps that I’ve found to the be the best way to go about finding a job you actually love in a Kiwi startup:

  1. Figure out who you are and what you want (we just covered this).
  2. Ask yourself ‘what do I want to build?’ Then go build that. People that build cool things get hired in startups. 🏗️
    1. Pro tip: don’t build things to impress others. Build them because they solve a problem you care about.
  3. Evaluate job opportunities according to Why, How and What.
StageWhat to evaluateWhere to find this informationHow to evaluateAction
1. WhyVision and missionCompany’s about page, LinkedIn page or their profile on MatchstiqDoes it make you feel something? Does it make you curious?If no, stop and cross this company off your search list. If yes, continue to How.
2. HowValuesCompany’s website or check the bottom of their job descriptionsDo they align with how you like to work?If any of their values make you cringe or go wtf, it’s a no—stop and cross this company off your search list. If yes, continue to What.
3. WhatThe job itselfThe job adDo you like the sound of the work you would be doing, does it play to your strengths, does the prospect of working with that team excite you and will the salary help you live the life you want?If no, stop and cross this company off your search list. If yes, start a conversation.
  • Most people start with What. E.g. the job ad
    If you want a great job you care about, that you can do for a long time and are likely to be successful in, start with Why.
    When a company doesn’t pass each stage in that order, it doesn’t matter how appealing the next stage is, you will probably never be happy working there and you will have wasted months or years you could have spent doing the best work of your life somewhere else.
  1. Decide on a strategy for your job search that includes a combination of reaching out to people directly, generating in-bound leads and building relationships with recruiters. The reason this works well for finding roles in startups is because it prioritises building relationships and storytelling.
    1. Reach out to people doing things that excite you. Send the founder an email offering to buy them a coffee ☕, saying that you’re a fan of the work they’re doing and would love to meet in person to learn more about their company and their story. Turn up to the meeting and let your enthusiasm for their work shine. Make it all about them and you’ll generate job offers out of thin air. You’re also trying to figure out if they have a problem you can help them with. Simply ask them ‘What do you need help with right now?’ Eventually they’ll ask about your situation and that’s when you can mention what you’re looking for.
    2. Give yourself permission to be yourself in every meeting. Your goal is for people to say ‘heck yes!’ or ‘hell no’ to working with you as quickly as possible.
  2. It’s a numbers game. Just keep putting yourself out there and being open to changing your approach as you go. You’ll find an amazing job soon enough.

If you’d like to learn more about how to find a job you actually love in a Kiwi startup, I wrote a 50pg ebook about it!

How to find out what startups exist

The fastest way to get a good overview of what Kiwi startups exist is to read all the 1-sentence mission statements on the Matchstiq 100 and Matchstiq Jobs (for the latter, set location to NZ).

Another good way to do this is to Google search: NZ [insert industry you’re interested in] startups. 

E.g. NZ hospitality startups

This will turn up a list of interesting companies you can look into. 🧐

Different categories of startups will sometimes have their own databases containing the startups that exist. If you’re interested in EdTech, join for free EdTech Jobs NZ, which Adam and I run. The pinned post in the group lists every startup, supporting organisation and investor currently operating in NZ that we know of (from an EdTech point of view). 

If you’re interested in FinTech, here is a map of NZ FinTechs.

Lastly, check out Caffeine’s directory of NZ startups. While nowhere near as comprehensive as Matchstiq, I’m anticipating they’ll flesh this out at some stage.

Best places to find jobs in Kiwi startups

Ranked from what I’ve found most effective to least effective:

  1. DM your friends who work in startups and let them know you’re searching for a job. Say what you are looking for using this format: I’m looking for a [job title] role in a [categories of startups you’re interested in working in] startup.
    E.g. I’m looking for a sales/business development role in a Wellbeing, FinTech or EdTech startup
    Also ask them: who is one person I should meet? For all the swanky job sites out there, old school word of mouth is still one of the best ways to find a great job.
  2. Reach out to Kiwi founders or people who work in the industries you are interested in that are doing work you care about. Don’t worry about asking them for a job (believe me, they will eventually ask about you), it’s more about sitting down with them and learning everything you can about their personal story and their business. Ultimately, it’s about connecting and seeing if you can help one another. By my observations, 80% of startup jobs aren’t advertised in NZ, so THIS IS THE WAY you get access to the hidden job market. Most people don’t even know it exists. I do this all the time and it’s how I’ve gotten every one of the 5 startup jobs I’ve had – and I’ve loved every one! (mostly, haha) Doing this will give you a massive advantage.
  3. Seek (search the term ‘startup’, set location to NZ and sort by date)
  4. LinkedIn Jobs
  5. Icehouse Ventures (highly recommend setting up an email alert for new jobs.)
  6. Matchstiq
  7. Reviewing nominees for various startup awards. The reason startups will be nominating themselves for awards will vary, but often one of the reasons is to get more publicity so they can attract great talent (like you!) So their nomination can be a clue that they are hiring or about to. To find these lists, Google ‘NZ startup awards’.
  8. Indeed
  9. GD1
  10. Blackbird
  11. Talent Army
  12. Caffeine
  13. Startmate Talent Engine

Other places to find jobs or internships:
Student Job Search  — For people intending to study in the next 6 months, current students and people who have graduated within the last two years. At a previous startup I worked at, I would sometimes place job listings here. One of the best people I’ve ever hired came through this site. To find startup jobs here, search for the term ‘startup’.

Summer of Tech — For people enrolled in a NZ Tertiary institution or who graduated in the last 12 months. A previous startup I worked at would hire graduates from here every year.

Prosple — For internships and graduate roles. Sometimes startups will advertise intern roles. Apply for these if you care about the mission and values of the company, but also, don’t be too concerned if you don’t get these, as they’re incredibly competitive. You’re more likely to land great internships the same way you’re more likely to land great full time jobs: by reaching out directly to people at companies doing work that resonates with you, via an email or LinkedIn message.

Frenly — For Gen Z students wanting to connect with employers for micro internships of 1-2 months. Especially useful for marketing and design students.

Other jobseeker resources

If you’re interested in EdTech, join EdTech Jobs NZ.

Act 3: Life working in a Kiwi startup

Mindset

Some mindsets are more useful than others for working in startups. I’ve found the mindset that helps the most is a combination of curiosity, heart-led passion and stoicism. 

I also find it helpful to regularly remind myself that nothing is ever as good as it seems and nothing is ever as bad as it seems. Therefore, might as well keep a pretty even keel and just keep paddling. 🛶

Favourite books on useful mindsets for working in startups:

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Screw It Let’s Do It by Richard Branson
Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman! by Richard Feynman
Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
Dare To Lead by Brené Brown
Start With Why by Simon Sinek
Rework by David Heinemeier Hansson and Jason Fried
Girl Code by Cara Alwill
The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss 
Mindset by Carol Dweck

Sometimes my startup friends will complain about a phenomenon called non-fiction fatigue, a relatable problem for those of us that love to learn and love to read. If you ever find yourself a bit bored with the types of books you’re reading, switch it up. Reading fiction can also be a great way to make sense of the world and how to show up in it. So you needn’t feel guilty for reading a whole heap of fiction throughout your career working in startups.

For a more comprehensive list of book recommendations, see Every Book I’ve Ever Read.

Working in startups when you’re single vs in a relationship

Everyone that works in startups falls into one of these categories:

  • Single
  • In a relationship
  • Parent with kids and a family

Let’s start with being single. 

It’s easier to have no boundaries and no life outside of work when you’re single. Startups sometimes encourage this. Which can be very exciting. When you’re single, how you choose to live your life impacts fewer people. Oftentimes, when you’re riding solo, the only person impacted by the choices you make about how to spend your time is yourself. 

Working in startups as a single person can be a deeply fulfilling experience. It can add meaning to your life in a way nothing else can…until one day, you meet someone. 💥

An interesting thing can happen when you start a relationship during your career in startups. Suddenly, the startup or career you’ve poured all your time and energy and love into, starts to feel like the third wheel in the relationship.

New relationships in particular can have a huge impact on your working life: both positive and negative, depending on how you look at it. Especially when you’re in your 20s, a new relationship can be the first time you may be required to learn how to set boundaries at work…and at home.

Everybody’s boundaries will be different. Some people are Ferraris 🏎️ (no limits), some are 1994 Toyota Corollas 🚙 (limited, but durable)—both are necessary for the success of a company. It’s about finding your own rhythm and less about comparing yourself to others. Boundaries enable resilience. They give you an unfair advantage, because they make it possible to play a different game than many of the people around you, single or otherwise: the long game. Startups are all about resilience. If you burn out and you can’t bounce back from failure, game over. 🥀

When work is always being played on survival mode, even if you live by yourself, you still need to have a home life which anchors you. Someone in a relationship can build that with a partner. More on people with kids and the special turbulence that brings with it in a moment.

It takes a very special person to support and tolerate those of us that choose to work in startups. If most of us don’t quite fully understand the all-consuming nature of what we’re getting ourselves into when we join a startup, spare a thought for our partners.

From the day you decide to start a relationship, know that any success you have working in startups is also your partner’s. We don’t get to keep doing what we do without the support of our partners. I believe it’s important to bring them along on the journey, because it is their journey too.

Tell them about your day: the good, the bad and the ugly. Let them know they don’t need to solve any of your problems, but that you’d just like them to listen. That is a gift in and of itself. 

Despite all the time and independence you had when you were single, having a great life partner is the ultimate superpower to your life and your career in startups. Most of the great startup employees have an incredible person behind the scenes, helping them make decisions, cheering them on and supporting them through the ups and downs.

Partners deserve just as much credit for your success in startups as you do. Choosing the right person to come home to is the most important decision you will make in your entire career.

To learn more about finding and choosing a great partner, for guys I’d recommend Models by Mark Manson. It’s the best book on dating and relationships that I’ve ever read. 

We’re open to suggestions on what book has been most helpful to women, so please let us know!

Navigating Startup Life as a Parent: Balancing Ambition and Family

This section is by Adam & Natalie Walmsley, who are parents and therefore more qualified to talk about this than Sierra and I am.

Perhaps you already have kids and are looking at making a career in the startup industry, or perhaps you have been working in startups already and are looking at having children. We hope that sharing the lessons we’ve learned during our journey in startups as parents is helpful to you.

If you are a fellow parent in the startup industry we’d love to hear your story and lessons too. We would particularly like to hear the lessons learned by single parents in the startup industry! 

Working in a startup is exciting but often high-risk, with long hours and constant demands. When you’re in a relationship, you and your partner can support each other and create stability at home. But when you have kids, everything shifts. Children depend entirely on you, needing time, attention, and care. For many years, while they are young, they are unable to offer practical support in return (support that in later years might look like doing their share of chores around the house or babysitting the younger kids so parents have time to spend together). That said, kids do bring a lot of joy and fulfilment to family life, making the journey even more rewarding—and definitely worth it.

Balancing startup life with parenthood is no small feat, but it’s possible with the right approach. By choosing a supportive startup, setting boundaries, and maintaining open communication with your partner, you can thrive both as a parent and a professional. Below are some key challenges parents face in startups, and practical strategies for managing them.

1. Unpredictable Work Hours

Challenge:

Startups are all about speed and adaptability, which is thrilling—until a deadline pops up while you’re on a family holiday. The unpredictable nature of startup schedules means your best-laid plans can be derailed in an instant.

How to Manage:

  • Set Clear Expectations Early: Let your partner and your boss know when you’re off-limits. Family dinners, school pickups, or bedtime stories—these should be treated like non-negotiable meetings on your calendar.
  • Create a Family Schedule: Having everyone on the same page helps. Keep a shared calendar—we have a family Google Calendar—so both your work commitments and family events are visible and nothing gets missed. Check with your partner if it would be helpful to them to have access to your work calendar too. I know Natalie appreciates it.
  • Batch Work Tasks: Multitasking is a myth. Instead, focus on batching tasks during your work hours to be more efficient and limit the chances of work creeping into family time.

2. Feeling Overwhelmed or Burnt Out

Challenge:

Trying to juggle startup deadlines with kids who need constant attention can leave you feeling like you’re failing at both. Burnout is a real threat when you’re stretched thin between work and home.

How to Manage:

  • Prioritise Self-Care: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Even if it’s just 10 minutes a day to meditate, exercise, or enjoy some quiet, make time for yourself so you don’t hit that wall. The more you can squeeze into your self-care routine, the better.
  • Delegate Responsibilities: Teamwork makes the dream work, right? Divvy up the parenting and household duties with your partner so no one feels overwhelmed. Alternate school runs or take turns making dinner.
  • Leverage Flexibility: If your startup offers any sort of flexibility, grab it with both hands. Adjust your work hours to fit your family’s rhythm, and use remote work options if they’re available. It might mean starting work a bit earlier on Wednesdays and then finishing a bit earlier so you can take your child to their football training. Flexibility can help you be present for the moments that matter.

3. Work-Life Balance Conflicts

Challenge:

Ah, the mythical “work-life balance.” Startups often blur the lines between personal time and work time, and that can leave parents feeling like they’re shortchanging both their kids and their job.

How to Manage:

  • Establish Firm Boundaries: Set clear boundaries between work and home life. No work emails at the dinner table, no sneaking in phone calls during bedtime stories. Pick times when you’re just a parent or just a professional.
  • Communication with Your Partner: Keep your partner in the loop. Regular check-ins about how you’re both handling work and family can help you adjust and support each other through the craziness.
  • Create “Sacred Time”: Set aside regular family time that’s untouchable—whether it’s Sunday afternoons at the park or nightly storytime. Make sure both work and the outside world know that time is off limits.

4. Cultural Expectations in Startups

Challenge:

Startups are known for their hustle culture—long hours, late-night team outings, and travel that can feel impossible for parents. If you’re not careful, you might feel like you’re constantly missing out, or worse, being judged for it.

How to Manage:

  • Choose the Right Startup: Do your homework before joining. Does the company value work-life balance? Do they offer flexible hours or parental leave? Are there other parents on the team who’ve made it work? These are important signals that the culture will be more inclusive of your needs.
  • Ask Key Questions in Interviews: Don’t be shy. Ask about flexibility, work-from-home policies, and the startup’s stance on parental leave. It’s better to find out upfront how they’ll treat you as a working parent.
  • Lead by Example: If you’re already at the startup, advocate for family-friendly policies. Encourage your leadership team to offer flexible hours or remote work options, and help create an environment that supports parents.

5. Strain on Your Relationship with Your Partner

Challenge:

Startups can take a toll on your relationship. You’re busy, stressed, and constantly juggling deadlines, poopy nappies and middle-of-the-night-wake-ups, leaving little time or energy for your partner. Before you know it, the strain shows up as frustration or distance.

How to Manage:

  • Open and Honest Communication: Talk. A lot. Be honest about how you’re feeling and ask your partner to do the same. Work pressures can creep into your relationship if you don’t stay on top of them. For example, don’t put off important discussions with your partner waiting for the perfect time—it’ll never come. Deal with feelings as soon as they come up or as soon as you feel capable of expressing those feelings in a kind and compassionate way.
  • Date Nights or Time Alone: Plan regular time for just the two of you, without the kids. It doesn’t have to be fancy—sometimes even a quiet night in can do wonders for reconnecting.
  • Show Appreciation: A little gratitude goes a long way. Make sure to recognise and appreciate what your partner is doing, whether they’re holding down the fort at home or supporting your crazy work schedule. They’re what makes your startup journey possible.
  • Don’t skimp on daily physical connection: 

Studies have shown that a 6 second kiss (or 20 second hug) lowers levels of cortisol (stress hormone) and increases levels of oxytocin (bonding hormone) and dopamine (happy hormone) – if you can manage more *wink wink* all the better! [2]

6. Limited Time with Young Children

Challenge:

Your startup work might mean you miss out on important family moments, and before you know it, your little ones are growing up while you’re glued to a laptop.

How to Manage:

  • Maximise the Time You Have: Make the most of the moments you do have with your kids. As a working parent you don’t always have the luxury of a large quantity of time with your kids. In lieu of quantity, try to make it quality time, engage fully with your whānau, even if it’s just for a little while each day. If you’re finding that you run out of energy to offer the kind of quality time you would like, then take a look at your self-care routine. Try to make it as efficient as possible. For example, Adam’s morning ‘blast’ self-care routine looks like this: early rise (4:45-5am), 15min stretch, 15min workout, shower, podcast during commute, and 10min meditation when he arrives at work. 
  • Involve Your Children in Small Ways: Show them what you do, explain your job in ways they’ll understand, or bring them into your workspace when appropriate. It helps them feel included and lets them see that work is important, but not more important than they are. I know our kids have LOVED visiting “Daddy’s work.”
  • Try Not to Work on Weekends: Dedicate weekends or days off to completely unplugging from work and spending time together as a family. Those moments will become the memories that matter most, for both you and your kids.
  • Plan Landmark Events and TAKE PHOTOS: Those childhood years pass in a flash. Opportunities for special events and family adventures both local and abroad disappear unless you make time for them. We’ve sat down and mapped out the next 20 years with the ages that our kids would be each year, and we were startled at how few opportunities there were for landmark events like family camping trips, overnight hikes, road trips etc while our kids are still children. Between the two of you, sit down and decide what is important to your family and make plans. Make actual bookings or reminders to make bookings if the plans are far off, or they might not happen. If your children are old enough, perhaps involve them in the activity selection and planning as it’s their childhood that you’re building together. Photos or it didn’t happen!

Final thoughts

Balancing the demands of a startup with parenthood is undoubtedly challenging, but with the right approach, it’s possible to succeed in both. By choosing a supportive startup, managing your time wisely, and maintaining open communication with your partner, you can navigate the complexities of startup life while being there for your family.

But let’s be real—none of this is easy to get right. My wife and I are still figuring it out ourselves, and we’re far from perfect. It’s a constant work in progress, full of trial and error. The reality is, it may not be possible to do all the things we’ve recommended—and we certainly haven’t been able to. Instead, prioritise the strategies that will positively impact your family’s situation at any given time. These priorities will shift as your kids get older, and your family’s needs change.

Remember, life’s a journey, not a destination—despite what startup culture might tell you. There will always be another goal your startup is racing toward, but don’t forget to celebrate the small wins along the way, both work-related, and more importantly the ones at home with your family.

Remote vs office vs hybrid

Since the pandemic, remote roles have become abundant. It’s a popular debate, whether working remotely or in an office is better. The debate wouldn’t have gone on this long if there was a clear answer.

When debates like these get loud, return to a quiet place and ask yourself, “What do I prefer?” That’s the only thing that matters at the end of the day. Post-pandemic, there are lots of jobs that offer both working conditions.

The best way to work out what you prefer is to try the different varieties. I’ve spoken to so many people who thought the grass was greener on the other side. Then they got what they wished for and realised they had everything they ever wanted all along.

Here are some impactful tips on how to get the best out of yourself as an employee in each setup. These are the things that have helped me most.

Remote

  • Dress like you’re heading into the office. Putting on a uniform gets you in the mood.
  • Over-communicate with colleagues. So much gets lost when working remotely, especially tone and comradery, so you need to put a lot more effort into your written communication. Emojis can form part of this language. If someone sends you a Slack message, drop a 👀emoji on the post immediately so they’re not left wondering whether you’ve seen it. 
  • Create clear start and stop times and a dedicated workspace (if you have that ability) to avoid blurring work-home boundaries.
  • Stand up regularly. Go for a walk before you start work and at lunch time.
  • Take time to celebrate the tiniest things. Send a colleague a message when you see them doing something great. When working remotely, you have to make a bigger effort to celebrate and call out the positive things your teammates are doing.
  • Show up to video calls with energy. Sit forward in your chair as if the person is in front of you. There’s nothing more energy-sapping than being on a video call with someone who is only half there. Table stakes: turn your camera on and unmute yourself.

Office

  • Have at least 1 personal item on your desk that makes you feel happy when you see it. I used to keep a kereru coaster on my desk. I love kereru. At one point I maintained a stack of empty Lewis Road Creamery bottles. Weird, but effective.
  • Have a good pair of noise cancelling headphones.
  • Always clean up after yourself following meals and put your dishes away. However, this is less important if you want to create immediate resentment between you and everyone you work with.

Hybrid

  • Make it easy for people looking at your calendar to know when you will be in the office and when you will be working from home.
  • Maximise office time for collaboration and use home days for deep, focused work. This will help you make the most of both environments.

And now for the catch: all of these things apply to being a great startup employee, whether you work remotely, in an office or hybrid. Success is not about where you work, but how you engage, communicate, and stay productive, regardless of the environment.

First days and honeymoons

I’ve found the best way to add value on your first day is to focus on being a good listener and a great student. Be curious and open. Ask questions. Be okay with nothing really making sense. If you’re lucky, your manager will have put together an onboarding document that you can work your way through independently. But this is the gold standard and in my experience very rare (it’s happened once in the 5 startups I’ve worked for).

Something I like to do when starting a new role is to capture my experience of the product in real time. Often on my first couple of days into a new role, I’ll open a fresh Google Doc and bullet point what I love, what I find super annoying and everything in between. I usually drop several swear words in these documents. I don’t filter myself—I write down my thoughts as if I was talking to a friend.

The reason I do this is because it’s the only opportunity I’ll ever have to experience the product as a new customer would. After your first day or your first experience with the product, your opinion can no longer be trusted, because you know too much.

Once I’ve finished documenting my experience, I’ll share the Google Doc with my manager and send it off with a message. This is the one I sent to the CEO of a startup I currently work for:

Slack message to manager capturing my experience using a new product for the first time

After reading, they came back with:

“Great feedback. Some of it made me chuckle hehe. I will pass this on to [our iOS lead] and [founder]. I think there are some things we can do better on.”

What I wish was the moral of the story: swear more when giving feedback
Actual moral of the story: give feedback with gusto

From day 1, expect to take ownership of your time. Not having a clear set of instructions on what to do can be deeply unsettling, but just know that this is completely normal. Notice these feelings and let them go. This is perhaps the most critical mental practice to get good at as a startup employee. 5mins of daily meditation is the one thing that’s helped me the most to build this mental muscle. Your ability to handle ambiguity and feeling out of your comfort zone will be the foundation of all the amazing things you will do.

One more thing that’s useful to do on your first day is to write down what you think your list of priorities should be, then show this to your manager. Say something like, “This is what I think I should be working on. What do you think?” It’s a good way to take responsibility for your work from the very beginning and sends a message to your manager that you’re someone who can be trusted to think about how they’re using their time instead of just being busy for the sake of being busy.

Between day 1 and 6 months later, the honeymoon period will end. When everything is no longer new and things get hard, what will sustain you?

It’s at this moment, a moment that all of us face during the early months into a new role, where the reason why you joined becomes critical. This is why when you join a startup it is so important that you care deeply about the mission and that the company values align with how you like to work. If you haven’t thought about who you are and what you want, if you’ve opted out of this inner work up front during your job search, it’s at about this time that you’re going to start feeling restless and looking for the next shiny job opportunity that catches your wandering eye.

If you find yourself in this position, it’s not too late to connect emotionally with the mission of the startup you work for. Go back to the company’s origin story and get clear on why you joined. Let the founders know you want to feel more connected to the mission of the company so you can do the best work of your life here. Hearing the reasons behind why they started the business will give you clues about how you can form an emotional connection to its purpose.

Take the same approach with understanding the company’s values. Most companies have a values champion. To find out who this person is, ask the founder who best lives the company values. Then go and talk to them, saying something like, “I want to understand the company’s values better so I can do a better job of living them as well as you do. Do you have 15mins to talk through what they mean to you and help me understand where they come from?”

There’s a theme here of noticing what you’re lacking and then asking for help. It will take you far in your career!

If all else fails, quit fast to save everyone more pain and make this promise to yourself: I will never join a startup whose mission I don’t emotionally connect with or whose values I don’t align with ever again.

Get back out there on the job market and go again ❤️

1-1s

This is the only part of this startup employee survival guide that shines a light on a specific aspect of your day-to-day job. The reason for doing so is because in my experience, 1-1s are the most critical hour in your week/fortnight/month, however often you have them. They enable you and the person you report to to have a candid conversation about how you’re going, and how to accelerate your personal and professional development.

And I think they are largely underutilised by most people.

The best place to start learning about 1-1s (other than here!) is to read High Output Management by Andy Grove. Grove was the CEO of Intel back in the day. Before he wrote about 1-1s, no one notable had discussed them publicly, so it was a big deal that he included them in his book.

Here’s how I do my 1-1s:

  • Together with my manager, I’ll book a recurring time for my 1-1s into our calendars, at the same time every week/fortnight/month, depending on how many hours I’m working for that company. I’ve had 1-1s at companies I was working for 8hrs a week and I’ve had 1-1s for companies where I was working 40hrs a week.
  • A couple of days prior I will share a Google doc with my manager that looks like this: 1-1s template.
    • I set the expectation with my manager that we both need to fill out our section prior to the meeting.
    • If we’re planning on going for a walk while having our 1-1, or we don’t want to take our computers with us, I will write down the most important things I want to say on a single sticky note. I can more easily remember what worked, so the sticky note bullet points will tend to focus on what was hard/annoying and what could improve. Fitting it onto a sticky note helps me prioritise what to say.
  • Between now and our last 1-1, I will keep a private doc where I can jot down my unfiltered thoughts. 1 day before our next 1-1, I will fill out my section of the Google Doc in a more digestible, easy to understand way.
  • I go into the meeting with the mindset that it’s my meeting and that it’s my responsibility to run it.
  • Each of us takes turns talking through everything we’ve jotted down. I always go first.
  • I listen really carefully to my manager’s feedback and say thank you. There’s plenty of time after the meeting to digest the meaning of it all.
  • At the end, if there are any actions (there won’t always be) I’ll jot these down.
  • I always thank my manager at the end for listening and being vulnerable enough to share (if this is warranted!).

Almost always we’ll uncover things I can do to improve that neither of us would have thought of on our own. 1-1s also build trust. If you have the ability to do them in person, always do them in person. Doing them remotely just isn’t the same level of bonding experience. 

If your startup doesn’t currently do 1-1s, introduce them. You owe it to yourself, the person you report to and to the company you’re helping to build.

Read this for a deeper dive on 1-1s.

Events, communities and meetups

Events

The purest expression of every startup event happening in New Zealand can be found in Pauli Sosa’s epic Events In Aotearoa spreadsheet.

If spreadsheets aren’t your thing, then the next best way to find out about events happening around the country is via Techstars Startup Digest email newsletter.

It can take some time to discover the events or meetups that speak to you, because no single event can please everyone. A good approach is to try turning up to each event at least once and notice how you feel being there.

I find it helpful to attend any meetup or event with the intention to have one good conversation. Instead of trying to speak to everyone, be really present and engaged speaking to someone. Once I’ve had one great conversation, I’ll usually leave soon after. Again, it’s not about the number of people you speak with, it’s about the depth of the conversations you have.

Communities

The oldest and most prolific startup community in New Zealand is the Facebook group NZ Tech Startups Eco-System. Everyone who’s anyone has posted to this group at one time or another. I’d recommend using the search function to find what you’re looking for as it’s a very busy group!

Migrants In Tech is an epic community for those who are not from New Zealand.

A good way to quickly get a broad overview of communities/events you could join is to simply Google search: startup communities nz

Many communities are geared towards founders. If you think there should be a community for employees of startups fill out this form.

Private Communities

If you work for one of Icehouse Ventures’ portfolio companies, you are eligible to join their Leadership Series. They’ll then add you to their private slack group, which is a great way to connect with other people working in startups.

Powrsuit is a paid learning and networking community for women and male allies that’s been making waves. 

I’ve also been hearing good things about the Starbucks-loathing community O3, which has one of the more entertaining pricing pages I’ve ever seen.

Don’t forget your very own LinkedIn connections! This is an incredible private community you’ve built and you’ll be surprised by how willing people are to help, if only you ask.

Associations that support the startup ecosystem

Attending events run by an association or being a member of an association that supports the startup ecosystem is a fantastic way to get support and meet people you didn’t even know you needed to meet. It’s also a great way to give back and help others. You’re never too early in your startup career to turn some of your focus to helping others.

Here’s a list of associations and communities most relevant to startup employees:

ESOP

ESOP stands for Employee Share Option Plan.

If a startup you work at, or are considering working at, offers this, this is a very good thing. Why? Because it signals that the company wants to share its success with the team, instead of only the founders and investors benefiting financially from a company’s success.

As employees, it’s critical that we understand the benefits of opting into ESOP, should we have the opportunity.

I know people that have worked in Kiwi startups whose lives have been changed financially by the simple fact they decided to opt into their employer’s ESOP. 💰

Orchestra is a Kiwi company (now owned by Sharesies) that helps startups do ESOP better. They have a very handy explainer about ESOP, which is targeted primarily at employers, but is also a good starting point for employees. Below, I’ve extracted the part most relevant to startup employees.

ESOPs give employees the opportunity to have a direct stake in the company’s success through their shareholdings. They are likely to feel motivated to be fully productive and build sustainable value because they own a stake in the company and have a vested interest in the long-term success of the business.

ESOPs can be offered widely so they don’t just benefit a lucky few, and even having an ownership scheme can be reflective of a good business to work for. A long-term survey which has tracked workers since 1997 showed that those working at companies with some employee ownership have had consistently better jobs and benefits and higher wages and wealth, regardless of the industry they work in.

Depending on the scheme, ESOPs can provide employees with a way to potentially make impressive returns in a tax-efficient way, usually without having to find the means to pay a large lump sum payment upfront. For example, the employee may not need to pay tax on options until they’ve gained a financial benefit from them either at the vesting or exercising stage.

What to do if you’re expecting: startups and parents

According to Enboarder, parental leave is the #1 most challenging moment of an employee’s working life. I was surprised recently to learn that 8 in 10 people will become parents.

If you work at a startup, there are a couple of things you can do to help yourself and other people that may be thinking of starting or growing a family:

  • Anonymously nominate your employer to join the New Zealand Parental Leave Register. The Register contains over 270 employer-verified parental leave policies, the largest repository of its kind. Being on the Register makes policies easier to read, more accessible and helps attract talent.
  • Check out Crayon’s parents hub, which contains lots of great free resources for expecting Kiwi parents.
  • Familiarise yourself with your statutory entitlements on IRD and Employment NZ.

How to handle redundancy

If you choose to work in startups, chances are that one day you will be made redundant. It’s happened to me. It hurts, it sucks, but it’s part of the game. There are two simple things you can do to position yourself to ride out these inevitable bumps in the road:

  • Prioritise your financial wellbeing (see above)
  • Always be meeting new people and helping others without expecting anything in return. It’s a great way to go through life, and will make it easier to find help when it’s your turn to ask for it.

I wrote a pair of articles on this topic—one for BusinessDesk about the time I was made redundant, and one on this website about how to handle your money after redundancy—that many people have told me they found helpful. 

What you need to know about VCs and investors

As an employee of a startup, you probably won’t have much to do with Venture Capital firms and investors. However, it’s good to have a basic understanding of their role in the ecosystem.

There are three levels of investors that invest in Kiwi startups:

  1. Private equity – $$$
  2. Venture Capital – $$
  3. Angels – $

If you have an opportunity to speak with an investor in the startup you work with, say hello. Both of you need each other. That’s why you’re in business together. As a startup employee, your relationship with investors will have an arranged marriage kind of vibe, but it’s a marriage none-the-less. 

I find that being grateful and curious about the people who decided to take their hard earned money and put it into a high risk venture like a startup is a great way to be. You will have some fascinating conversations and simultaneously get to feel more connected to the high level decisions being made that will impact the work you do day-to-day. At the same time, you’re giving investors something valuable: an insight into what the day-to-day is like. Many investors started their careers in startups in a position like the one you’re in right now. And many miss those days.

One day, if you’re lucky, you may be in the position to invest in startups. Imagine for a second that you’re already in that position. When you pop into the office for a meeting, would you prefer that all of the employees avoid you, or would you like to feel welcomed, like you could talk with anyone? 

The next time you have an opportunity, say hello to investors, board members and anyone else responsible for the governance of your startup. Like any human being, they’ll appreciate feeling seen.

For a broad overview of which VCs and Angels invest in Kiwi startups, check out the Caffeine Directory and use the filter.

How to give back

Working in startups will take you on the most extraordinary adventure of self-development. To keep everything you’ve learned to yourself is a missed opportunity. As I’ve already mentioned, you’re never too early in your startup career to start helping others.

Especially in a small country like New Zealand, we need all the help we can get to succeed. 

Ways you can start to help:

  • If someone asks for help, give them advice that may help, refer them to someone better placed to help, or catch up with them for a chat. Follow through on what you say you will do.
  • Offer private or public words of encouragement. This could look like commenting on someone’s LinkedIn post.
  • Go to meetups and listen for what people need help with. A question I like to ask is, “What is one thing you need help with right now?” Introduce them to people who can help or help them yourself.

The trick to helping is to give without expecting anything in return. Give it a go and you’ll be amazed at the results.

Check out Give And Take by Adam Grant, a book which had a big impact on my life.

Self-worth

This may seem obvious to say, but it’s so important as a startup employee to not allow the startup you work for to become all of who you are. You are so much more than the work you do. 

What you do is not who you are.

Have a life outside of work, have non-work friends and have the time of your life both at work and outside of work.

A business’s needs will always come first, regardless of how much you put into it. I’ve personally found this to be the hardest thing about working in startups. Despite this, it’s still worth it, because of the people you’ll meet, the adventure you’ll go on and the person you’ll become.

​​When you’re working at a startup that’s in survival mode and trying to create a profitable business model, caring for people often goes out the window. I believe this is actually the most critical time to care for your people. It’s really hard to do, which is why it’s rare. Yes, it starts at the top. But as employees, we also have a responsibility to dig deep to care for ourselves, and to extend this care to our colleagues and to founders who are doing the best they can. Sometimes it’s as simple as sending a Slack message to call out something great that someone else has done or something you appreciate about them in general. When was the last time you spent more time pointing out what someone was doing right?

Work with people that treat you well and move on quickly from those that don’t. There are leaders out there that deeply care for the people they have the privilege of leading. It just takes some time to believe you are worthy of such leadership.

A great book on self worth is Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima.

I also recently wrote a manifesto for startup leadership in New Zealand, which is as much a declaration for how I intend to cultivate a high sense of self-worth as it is a call to arms for others to do the same.

Other resources for life as a startup employee

Check out the excellent WFLS Podcast which tells stories about Kiwi startups.

Icehouse Ventures startup resource hub – This resources hub is focused on founders, but there are some good resources in here for employees too. “Our Startup Resource hub is a directory full of perks and partnerships, recordings of webinars with founders and operators, templates and how-to guides, sources of inspiration and lists of upcoming events.”

The Fractional Directory New Zealand – This directory is for more experienced senior leaders to advertise their fractional services, but can also be a good way to find interesting people to connect with.

Act 4: Death

What is it all for

We started this survival guide talking about how to stay alive.

The twist ending here is that one day, you will die. 

When you look back on your life, what do you want to have spent your working life doing? 

I find it helpful to keep death front of mind in everything I do, especially with my work in startups. It helps me to care less about things that don’t actually matter in the big scheme of things. It brings clarity in chaos.

Startups tend to be purpose driven, while at the same time, having no clear path. There is lots of trial and error, the outcomes of which are usually out of anybody’s control. Death is a reminder to enjoy the ride, be present and reflect often. It helps us focus on the “why” or mission of the company we work for. It helps us focus on the “how” or company values that inform how we go about our work. It helps us let go of things that are out of control.

I believe that one of the reasons people who work in startups sometimes struggle to celebrate the things they accomplish, from little things to big things, is because they think they will actually live forever. The thinking is that, “We’ll celebrate once we achieve X.”

By remembering that we’re only alive on this planet for a short amount of time, we can truly enjoy the journey we are on. We can get better at celebrating the incredible things we’re doing, as well as celebrating the tiny things that nobody else notices.

Do you realise how lucky we are to get to do what we do?

Enjoy the journey. Keep death front of mind and knock your socks off celebrating even the tiniest wins. 

The only celebrations you’ll regret are the ones you never allowed yourself to have.

Extra stuff

Perks, offers and discounts for startup employees

The first thing to say about perks, offers and discounts as a startup employee is that many people don’t even know what their own employer offers. Ask your manager, “Are there any perks available to me that I’m not taking advantage of?” Get familiar with what your company has to offer! Employee benefits are designed to be used. Employee benefits that don’t get used, get scrapped.

For making it this far into the survival guide, you can also get in touch with me at deanrobertwatson@gmail.com or Adam at adamrussellwalmsley@gmail.com and let us know what you need help with. We will do our best to point you in the right direction.

Let us know here what perks, offers or discounts you’d like to see made available more broadly to employees of startups.

If you’re thinking of starting a startup

Many founders start their journeys as startup employees. If you’re thinking of starting your own business, that’s fantastic! 

Here are some resources that will help:

Conclusion

I truly wish you all the best on your journey as a startup employee. I hope we get to work together some day! 

If there is something that has helped you that you believe should be included in this survival guide, please let me know at deanrobertwatson@gmail.com

Let us know if there’s any way we can help, whatever stage you’re at on your journey.

You’re awesome and you’ve got this.

How this was written

Despite the fact this is written in first person and published on my blog, this was a true collaboration between two couples that live and breathe startups: myself and my partner Sierra, and Adam and his wife Natalie. 

I wrote the first draft, and then everyone else made it better. Adam and Natalie wrote the majority of the section ‘working in startups when you’re single vs in a relationship’. Sierra also provided significant feedback for that section, along with the artwork.

Friends and colleagues who provided helpful suggestions are listed in the thanks section further down.

About the authors

Adam and I have a combined 20+ years experience in startups, across everything from working in them as employees and consultants, to starting them, to investing in them. We also understand what it’s like working in startups being single, to being in a relationship, to being a parent with kids and a family.

Dean Watson is a Kiwi startup evangelist. He currently works as the first sales hire at Thinkladder and also at Crayon. He is also a former amateur golfer, comedy writer and TV producer.

Adam Walmsley is a co-founder of Code Avengers, which he exited in 2020. He runs an EdTech consultancy and is currently Head of Business Development at LearnCoach.

Sierra Truong is an artist and meditation teacher. She is currently publishing a series of colouring books for adults called ‘Slow Living’. She has a masters in architecture.

Natalie Walmsley is a full-time mum of two beautiful children. She has a masters in science and health psychology.

Four co-founders of the Startup Employee Association of New Zealand—Dean Watson, Adam Walmsley, Sierra Truong and Natalie Walmsley
Photo: Josh Walmsley

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Notes

[1] New Zealand’s Ministry of Business, Innovation & Employment released this report in April 2023, which declared “New Zealand has around 2,400 startups, with 58% in Auckland, 15% in Wellington, and 8% in Christchurch.”
[2] Kisses, hugs and other types of daily physical affection have an incredibly positive influence on the quality of your relationship. A great book on this topic is The Normal Bar.

Art by Sierra Truong

Thanks to Kai Xiang Chiew, Hannah Le and Stephanie Pow for your suggestions.

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A note on the recommendations included in this survival guide:
All recommendations in this guide are our personal opinions on what will help startup employees in NZ. We don’t receive kickbacks from any of the recommendations included. Over time, I’d love for this guide to include more than just what four people believe to be helpful to startup employees. So do write in with your own recommendations.

Disclaimer: Like your all-knowing uncle telling you the latest stock tip, this should not be considered financial advice.

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